Batsu Living

It’s frustrating when you spy yet another story about a London landlord renting out a tiny shed or outhouse, marketing it as an artisan apartment and charging top dollar. How do they get away with it? More importantly, how do *you*?

Luckily, my new book, ‘Batsu Living’, shows you how, helping you maximise the earning potential of your property by transforming it’s ‘challenge’ zones – the space under the floorboards, the airing cupboard, that bit down the side of the fridge – into bespoke modern rentables.

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Each plan is a unique living opportunity for the forward thinking tenant, and a fantastic source of creative income for you!

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After a successful first run at Glasgow Comic Con ’16, a second printing is in the works, hopefully within the next few months. Watch this (tiny, rentable) space!

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NameSoap

Strip it all back, and most soap opera plots would work with just the main characters shouting each other’s names at one another. Try it yourself! I certainly did, and I regret nothing.

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Inside the Mind of…

In the aftermath of the general election, are we any closer to understanding just WHAT our elected representatives were thinking? Not really, but these should hopefully help…

   
         

Mutually Assured Discussion

scottish independence referendum

Being Entirely Unsure how I intend to vote in Scotland’s upcoming Independence referendum conveniently means not having to win over others with reasoned and well-thought out argument, a field in which i am not skilled. Still, while the above ‘arguments’ For or Against are entirely made up, they’re also probably not, in that they come from a place.  My bumper folder of holiday worries, maybe? Passes the time.

A Ghost for That

Conventional insurance is great fun, but it can’t cover everything. You can’t get cover for ham shortages, for your second name ending up an amusing swear-word, for other people not having spectacularly visual, non-fatal accidents. A gap in the market for sure.

The services of the assembled creatures-of-myth are entirely random at point of sale (as was their wish), but who couldn’t use the services of the Dread King of Mother’s Day? Exactly.

aircon monster car radio bell boy bunny fighter weather cat karaoke crab ice cream man custard cream flame banker gem robot rainbow ghost walls vienetta golf monster grail mouse ham castle ghost hoover matchbox merlin pie knight king pigeon angry kettle skeleton referee living rock shed ogre sexy tomb war penguin boy wizard mum demon

Police Post

Much of The Great Spectrum of Criminality goes unfictionalised. Shame, really. Stealing Broadband, popping a hand up a vending machine, jimmying manholes, car tipping …the world of small crime, shadow crime, and the guilt, hubris and paranoia that fuel and cripple it’s denizens , is vast and bountiful.

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Laying the roots of Lt. Taylor’s final night (an idea I’d drawn out a while ago) meant working up a few of the lighter-weight unlawfuls. Fun stuff, and it seemed a shame to just leave them lying on a page somewhere, criminal even (yes I did). So I worded them, even coloured them (yes I did). Look on, and lose forever a small, largely inconsequential amount of the peace of mind you will probably actually get back quite quickly.

fake signs placebo criminal monopoly house illegal kitchen freezer bags criminal letters puppet criminal criminal artist

Unacceptable Follows

Having never been stalked before (my stalker’s that good), I can only say as an outsider that physical stalking seems to have fallen out of fashion, the practice perhaps another happy DOI when it crossed the Super Highway.

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So perhaps the assembled champions of the profession are less true menacers at core, and more the pastel coloured nostalgia-memory alternative, like when a Jack the Ripper Tour guide dresses as a Jack the Ripper but not THE Jack the Ripper.

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As a bonus side-note, I always thought stalking implied as much about physical gait as core intent. Perhaps this was initially the case, hence the name, though you could understand why any serious follower of someone else would ditch the practice pretty quickly, being as they would be the stealth equivalent of ‘visible from space’.

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Yes Well.

You think something’s funny in your head, right? So you develop it, pencil it, it ends up all earnest and sincere. What do you do?

Noddy Comic

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Perhaps you scare up the background material you’d developed when at the peak of your mania, commit it to a layout – drawn and written – and pencil that too, before also digitally inking, shading and wording the thing? The you (obviously) lay each page onto one side of an A3 sheet of paper, just so, so that it folds open like a comic. Doing all that enables you to then pop the original ‘something funny’ pencil on the OTHER side of the A3, making it like a poster-comic that contextualises (and legitimises) the whole endeavour.

If you’re a complete fruitcake. Good job I steer well clear of that kind of stunt.

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Noddy Reboot

Noddy Megaman x Enid Blyton BigEars